Freaking out

Everyone we know who has gone through the process of purchasing a home has told us the same thing. You will have a freak out moment. It could be the night before your closing, or the day you put in an offer, or even the day you sign your mortgage commitment. Whatever the day – it will happen. Makes sense, it is a huge commitment to undertake.

 

My moment? Happened last night. Approximately 15 days away from closing. The evening was spent scanning over a bunch of documents our mortgage specialist needed and packing a few boxes. After all that fun (sarcasm people), I settled in front of my computer to waste some time on myspace and facebook. Yup, I’m a sucker for social networking (I’m myspace friends with two of my ex-boyfriends – that’s crazy. It’s amazing the stuff you can find on there!).

 

Anyway, my husband was in bed watching TV and I crawled in next to him still in the clothes I wore all day long. Suddenly all these thoughts rushed to my head and I barraged him with a bunch of questions and thoughts that have been deep in my mind.

 

This morning I had a dream that you left me and I felt relief that I could move closer to my parents. Are we doing the right thing by staying in this town? My parents can’t drop by for dinner during the week and we can’t do the same at their place. This is potentially 30 years we will live here. Our families will only visit on the weekend – is that ok?

 

Stressed – I’m stressed! We bought a house, we are leaving the first residence we shared together, I am starting a new position with bigger responsibilities. Too much change in a short time! Did I mention how much packing we need to do? You know I loathe packing…don’t mind unpacking. And the painting we have to do at the house?

 

Am I a horrible person? That friendship that went horribly wrong – I did ok right? I am always the one to feel guilty or apologize first and I didn’t this time, that’s ok right? That “friend” was pretty inconsiderate to me though during times which should have been happy. And this person can stop being so passive aggressive on myspace bulletins already. I really need to quit myspace huh?

 

Babies? In two years? Please? I’m going to be three zero soon and I think we should really think about this.

 

So yes, I freaked with a capital F. Hopefully I got it out of my system!