Today is the day that I return to work. It will be the most challenging day I have faced so far. No longer will I wake in the morning and take a quick shower before my husband goes to work. No longer will Emily and I take our time picking out an outfit for her in the morning and watch the morning news while I feed her a bottle leisurely.
These past eight weeks flew by. May was a blur and, even though there’s still a couple weeks left, June has flown by. I spent my last day of maternity leave with Emily, all day at home. Rain came pouring down for a few hours and we listened to it fall outside our window. After each feeding, I held onto her while she dozed off, not wanting to put her down a second longer than I needed to. I had a long conversation with Emily about how hard it will be for me to be without her during the day, but that I would think of her every second. We’ll be together at the end of the day and I’ll read her favorite book to her and cuddle her close.
I’ll likely break down at the first person I see today who asks me about Emily. I’ll also break down when my mother-in-law sends a picture or an update on her. And I’ll break down during lunch, just knowing that I could be spending that time with Emily. Oh, and probably when I set her framed picture on my desk at work. And a million other times in between.
But I will work through it. Everything will be ok. Millions of women do this every day. Some days will be easier than others but just knowing that I will see my sweet girl again makes it all worth it.
love you!
I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that day must have been for you. Hopefully it will get a bit easier for you as time goes on!
Pingback: 2011: Year in Review |